At some point,
earlier in our relationship than one would expect,
you told me that when you die you want to be left in the woods for scavengers to find.
I love you and hate food waste,
so I agreed.
I did not expect to deal with it so
soon.
I dragged weight I did not expect to ever die,
and saw your soul lingering above me like the mist that hovers above the lakes.
It did not take long for them to find you.
I am familiar
with the cries of coyotes,
I know they echo the damned,
the outside pets no one brought in,
the ranch animals deigned to die.
I was not familiar with the jealousy,
the pang in my chest and the tightening
in my throat, when I realized that you are being torn apart before me
and they will leave me with nothing left.
One time I was holding your hand and I asked you
if I could keep it.
You did not reply so I took that as a yes.
I did not expect it to be quite such a literal affair
until I was kneeling there
next to canines oh so willing to share as long as we all got our fill, kept it all fair.
My teeth sunk into your wrist and then
I am aware that I do not know where my own arms sit, where my hands are in relation to my body,
where the ground digs into my knees.
But I know where all of your limbs are, I can feel where they tear,
I hear your hip pop out of place for the last time as your leg rips from it and I realize
I’ve earned you.
I am fighting coyotes over your corpse, I am carving apart every bit of you I can reach, you weren’t theirs
to scavenge and your last wish
didn’t
specify
species.
I am leaning on your chest until it collapses,
I can’t bring you back
but I can bring you with me.
I am taking bites like I am winning, I can’t stop until I have the most
I hear the coyotes screaming,
I hesitate for a moment to see why.
I am alone with your corpse in a clearing.
I am alone with your corpse in the woods.
We are alone and yet there is snarling,
it’s filling the air and our lungs,
it’s taking its time to wrap around us.
I take my time with your body
I have my fill,
I think
the sun was setting when I killed you.
You leave my life as you entered it- faceless and skeletal.
I walk away with you,
hand in hand.
